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I've been thinking about fan forums for quite awhile now, and why I like this one so much! It has a lot to do with it being a beautiful site, with so many interesting facets to it, but it goes a lot deeper than that. It's beautiful because of the people who put it together, and their reasons for doing so. To create a home and open the doors to anyone who wants to come in - without demanding anything from them in return - is a special gift in and of itself. What makes this a special place for me is that no one is thought to be disloyal because they are members of other fan forums - far from it! The people who set up this site ALL belong to other fan forums, and still visit back and forth. We are doing what we set out to do -- to make a home where people can have fun together, get to know each other better, and share their love of the Binxes. No strings are attached. Therefore, it disturbs me somewhat when people from other fan forums come to lurk and look for ulterior motives - where there are none. It disturbs me somewhat to have another forum question our right to hand out our site "business cards" to fans who may belong to their forum. Surely our main purpose here is to be a big family of fans, visiting one another's houses, sharing the wealth of Binx knowledge that we hold between us, and enjoying the differences that make up the compositions of our various houses. We may dine in a fine French restaurant one day, and want German food the next, or Italian, or Indian curry, or falafel, or grits or pub fare and beer -- the main point is to be fed.

(Not edited, though it probably should be -- but I'm in a hurry to go to the Rainbow Room to see who's there!)

And that's my point.

Sometimes when you visit the Rainbow Room, you'll see a name on the right-hand side telling you someone is logged in, and you think "Great! Someone to chat with!" You start talking - and you're ignored. You say something else -- no reply. You leave, puzzled and sad..... Well, - don't be sad!
Most times the person(s) listed there are "out and about" in other areas of OBINXS, or checking emails, whatever -- and they don't know you are there!

Just double-click on the name and a Personal Message will appear on the screen. Send your message "Help! I'm all alone in the Rainbow Room and I need some food!" or whatever -- and if the person is online, they will be able to receive your PM and come to the rescue. Even if you don't want to chat, but need a question answered, or want to pass on a message - do the double click!

Never fear! The Guardians of the Chat are always near!

(Edited to say -- "USUALLY" are near)

My office is just off the back deck of my home, where I can turn the slatted blinds and look out into my tangled backyard. Tangled because there are things growing there that I did not plant, and yet I would not destroy. I had a yard with fences all around and trees that had to be cut down because of disease. One was a poplar and one was an aspen, and when they were gone, I really missed hearing the wind constantly singing through the leaves, migrating birds landing for a rest, filtered sunlight and a cool oasis under the branches. It was a long, hot, sad summer without these beautiful trees.

The next spring, I noticed little saplings growing around the fence line and instead of cutting them out, I left them, curious to see what was growing there. Today, at the eastern end of my deck I have a beautiful, strapping strong big leafed young maple tree shading my deck, with its fingertips starting to brush my bedroom window in the night breezes. I still have my beloved lilac tree, which every year gives me sweet fragrance. Now I also have two wild cherry trees, one chokecherry tree, two small maples, a couple of aspens, and several small leafy trees I’ll have to identify one of these days, guarding the perimeter of the fences, making a moving picture of lush green leaves whenever there is a breeze. They are filled with birds and their song.

Beside the deck, another gift from the birds is a well-established blackberry bush stand, where I have just finished removing a generous cupful of blackberries, and eating them, one by luscious one, while sitting on my glider swing, under the shade of the sturdy maple, watching a cardinal and its mate flitting around in my trees and bushes.

I have set up some waist-high plant boxes on sturdy tall tiles to decorate the deck, some in partial shade, and some in full-sun, and I have an abundance of plants to experiment with, and some seeds that I have never tried before.

OBINXS was like my backyard. In the beginning, there were just the bare bones of a yard when fortune invited me to help her decide what should be there. We asked for help from friends to bring design and order into the fenced off areas we had envisioned. We decided what the beds would be, and they prepared them. Then others began arriving with their seeds, bringing beauty and color to OB. New growth sprouted up everywhere. Bushes with berries and boxes with wonderful new life, all delightful and unique! Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

There are some of you who look into this backyard from over the fences, lurking, wondering if you should climb over or not, or enter by the gate. Let me just say to you, it’s lovely in the sun, it’s refreshing in the shade, it’s delightful on the swing! The flowers are lovely and the fruit is delicious! We laugh a lot and we play a lot! Come and join us, and tell us where you want to be! We are always looking for new life, new talent, new ways to spread joy and make you welcome in the Gardens of the Binxes.

(Warning! You may squirm! This is going to sound like Kumbaya!)

We all have worries, concerns, setbacks, minor or major health problems at times - some of us ongoing, families to care for, busy lives, day to day or sudden crises, financial responsiblities, (sometimes crushing), job anxiety, diminished time to spend doing the things we love to do, with the people we love to do them with.

So, isn't it great to find there are strangers out there who actually care what happens to us, who are willing to take the time to listen to us, empathize with us, give us kind advice if we ask for it, and in general remind us that there is still good in the world and lots of it. Isn't it great that there are cyberfriends out there who want to get to know us better and share commonalities of life with us? Isn't it nice to find people who make time for you?

One of deeceegee's INXS friends, (also a friend of mine), told her "Your Mom needs a television set in her office so she can watch RS:SN and still stay on the computer." She had bought a flat screen for herself, and went out of her way to make certain I had her other tv so I could enjoy the new Krack as it came out. Wouldn't take a penny for it. (Never had nieces or nephews offer...... just sayin'!)

A cyberfriend I've never met sent to me, at her expense, dvd's of an INXS concert, which I have enjoyed over and over again - a concert she could not herself physically attend, but which her loving sister recorded so that she could enjoy seeing something we all take for granted that we can attend.

When deeceegee and I couldn't get tickets for the February Massey Hall concerts, they were offered to us by cyberfriends at the price they paid for them, and so provided us with memories we will treasure forever.

A great friend of mine, (cyber and RL), who would never tell you he did it, provided many, many, many of us with the Krack we so enjoy -- again, without having (at that time) met us, and without accepting anything in return. Recently, I laughingly showed him my ruined Tour Book purchased mid-May at a concert. Some clod spilled his beer and didn't bother telling us in the row ahead about it, resulting in a couple of wet, smelly purses, a stained INXS t-shirt, and my ruined Tour Book. Without saying a word, at another concert he bought another Tour Book, told the Binxes about needing it autographed at a M& G he attended, and sent it to me as a surprise. I was so unbelievably touched, that I had a quiet cry.... His note said, "A little gift for you for being the biggest BINXS fan on the planet (well, actually, you are tied with me)!" (And, yes, inzane, as much as this might embarrass you, -- I love you for your great, big caring heart! What a friend!)

When I experienced a serious blow to my self-confidence and faith and trust in others, I had so many cyberfriends with helping hands reach out to touch me with concern and affection, that I was truly amazed! Still am! Fortune4me opened both her arms to give me a huge hug! And we still have not met! Those who had previously worked with me on another site, came here to renew our friendship - how can I thank you enough? And other friends who followed? What a beautiful bunch of people you are!

Today I had lunch-dinner with a friend of mine (started as lunch, ended at dinner time!) at a favorite restaurant of ours where they treat you like royalty, and never, ever rush you out the door! She knew I needed help with my business, but couldn't afford to pay someone, so she volunteered her services to physically help with the expansion I need. She also contacted some other friends who likewise came forward to offer to help as well. She laid out some great ideas, which will be fun to do. Not family -- friends!

At OBINXS I have had many late night talks with the Night Crew, and many evening talks with the Evening Crew, where trustworthy advice on "how to" get around the internet or solve problems has always been freely given. How many of you have contributed to the Memorable Lines section with your witty, fanciful, insightful (or naughty) remarks! How many have come forward to help make this site beautiful to see and fun to be in, realizing it truly was created to belong to all of us.

I see people on OBINXS who can be hurting personally, and yet take the time to make people laugh, with funny lines and outrageously great snark and fantasy! Taking precious time out of their lives to give others a lift, and make room for a lonely person, and bring that person into a warm and loving cyber-family.

Thank you, to all of you out there - in New Zealand, and Australia, and England and Hong Kong and all over the USA and Canada, for just being who you are. And all of you who have yet to join -- welcome, even before you arrive!

We may have come together searching for JD or Jon or Garry or Kirk or Andrew or Tim or the whole group of them, or maybe just because we love the music -- but we've stayed together because we Care.

(So I end this smooch with a "C" note, not a "K" one. - please note, PhanTim!)

Within the time frame of a half-hour, how hard would it be for you to sit down and write 5 things you like about yourself? 10 things? 15? 20? How about 25? Or more?

If you are able to write without hesitation a goodly number of ways you see yourself in a kindly manner, good on ya, mate! However, the chances are pretty good that most people would not be able to do that. Since we all start out pretty well on an equal playing field at birth as human beings, then - Why? Why don't we see ourselves as excellent representatives of what is best in the human race?

A group of twenty women who were gathered at my home a few years ago, were willing to do a little experiment for me. We had come together as strangers in a business venture I had started, and had worked fairly closely with each other for several weeks. I asked them to write down ten things they liked about everyone in the room, including themselves. I also asked each one to write on a different piece of paper, what they DIDN'T like about themselves.

I then read aloud what each one thought about themselves in a negative manner, followed by what 19 others thought about them in a positive way. Incredibly, every time I read a negative someone thought of themself, it was disputed by others in the room, who saw them in an entirely different way.

A few examples I remember: "I'm too shy. I'm scared of people." And the room thought: "Outgoing.... friendly.... personable.... warm." Another: "I'm not very friendly ." The room: "A witty conversationalist - delightful! ... has become a wonderful friend .... good to everyone....charming and helpful..." And: "I feel clumsy and ugly." The room: "Attractive.... good looking..... beautiful.... walks like a model..." And: "I don't know how to talk to people." The room: "great speaker... handles the clinic so well... very friendly with newcomers.... explains things really well...."

That's not all.... Some of the other positive attributes others gave to them, surprised them - almost shocked them - because they had never realized others saw them in such an uplifting and favorable way.

The profit in that little exercise was that people who had come to know each other were able to influence the way other people perceived themselves. Instead of continuing to be down on themselves, they began to see themselves through different eyes.

What causes us to think so badly of ourselves that we feel insecure and doubtful and shy? I suppose in this stage of our lives, it doesn't matter how it was started, or what person or persons or circumstances nurtured our negative conceptions of ourselves. The sad thing is that when we think badly about ourselves, we can sometimes do to the people we love the most, the same things that were done to us, and the cycle continues. Trying to find the causes may be helpful, but it doesn't matter much in the here-and now of this day and tomorrow and the day after that.

What does matter is that here and now we have a place where we can recognize that everyone has a need to be cherished for who they are and what they can become, no matter their age or background. On this board, we can choose to ignore others and post around them, or seek out their opinions, and weigh what they say in a positive manner. If someone drops out of sight, we can say "ah, well" and forget them, or we can take the time to send them an email and ask "Are you okay? I've missed you."

When people are really comfortable in their skins with who they are -- and who we are -- then good-natured snarking is just plain fun. Otherwise...... ???

I love this board, and I particularly love the good vibes I get from everyone here. It is a wonderful thing to see people cautiously come out from under their shyness, their feelings of inadequacy, or unworthiness, to realize that in this house -- this home -- we are of equal value, and each one of us has a room of our own, and a place of worth in this family. The atmosphere here is nurturing and friendly, with good fun and caring at the top of the list. I urge you to remember to see who's on the board, but not posting. Send a little message to them to let them know you're aware that they are there and are wanting them to join in the chat.

The dividends are enormous, especially to ourselves.

The BSCrazy Poem

So many nights and so many days,
Filled with boredom in so many ways;
Home to work, and work to home,
Teeth to brush and hair to comb,
Dog to walk and meals to cook,
Look for excitement in a book,
Watch the telly and start to nod,
Climb the stairs, and think "Oh, God!
Tomorrow's the same as yesterday.
Get up at 6, work for my pay."

One night, in boredom, I flip the dial;
I stop to watch a dimpled smile.
He looks at me - to my surprise,
I'm captured completely by his eyes.
I'm watching a beautiful pair of lips,
And swiveling, gyrating, masculine hips,
A growling voice, and a driving song
That stays in my head the whole day long.
Who is this man who makes me stare
At everything he puts out there?
This beautiful man who is so fine,
I must have him! He must be mine!

Dark-sided angel, he sings with fire,
His voice a beacon to my desire!
And as his hands caress the air,
I can imagine that I am there
Wrapt in his arms, his arms with wings,
Of love and war to me he sings.
His body moves with speed and grace;
His hands reach out to touch my face.
I know I'll never quite be free
Because his eyes made love to me.

(Missing the Binxes so much! Just have to keep counting the days when they'll be back again!)

(What do you write when it's 92 hot degrees in your non-air-conditioned office? Why, you reach into your bag of poetry! I didn't write this for JD, - but I could have, you know! Truthfully, I wrote it for another Irish Eagle.)

EAGLES

My eagle flies beside me
Over rocks jutting from the shore;
Up, up we rise together
Wings spread, we rise and soar.

The air, like silk, flows over us
As we cut through the sky;
Exultantly, we lift or dive,
The air filled with our cry.

We mate for life and life is good;
Our spirits full and free,
Each day filled with each other,
My eagle mate and me.

We've flown above the mountains;
We've coasted o'er the shore;
We've lived each day together,
And we live for evermore.

The memory of two eagles,
As side by side they fly,
Is ever painted on the wind,
The wind that cannot die.

When I purchased my first computer, it was a very useful writing tool for me. My friends and family received mail from me on a regular basis. So did newspaper and magazine editors and manufacturers and utility companies.......etc. The only difference from BC and AC was that I used the computer and printer instead of the typewriter to send my missives. I still had to mail the letters and purchase stamps.

Then I discovered the joys of the internet, and fell in love with Mr. Email. That took care of stamps and mail to newspaper and magazine editors and manufacturers and utility companies...... etc. Rejection slips. Updates and bulletins came directly to me by email. Instructions and helpful hints. Email became my closest friend. I still love Email!

My family and friends began to whine about never hearing from me, and my brutal reply was, "Get on the Internet! Get a computer! Who can be bothered with snail mail, when we can use Mr. Email's connections!" After all, by now I had a whole new family of people like me - Connected people! People on the web! New friends! Those who had computers, but were not internet connected, were just some anachronistic strangers. "I'll write to you by email, if you get connected!" I paid no attention to their "I love to get your letters! I read them over and over!" pleas. Occasionally I wondered how my nephews and nieces were getting along in hockey and art and music and missed getting the school pictures every year..... wondered where everyone spent their vacations and did they have a good time .... who was moving where and who got married and who got divorced and what all my old school chums were doing... Gradually I noticed that my delivered mail had dwindled down to unwanted junk and bills. Only at Christmas did I receive correspondence from family and long-time friends. And that was just a line or two hoping I was fine..... I wondered - "Where have all the letters gone? I don't know what's happening with anyone anymore."

So my mid-year resolution is that I will send at least ONE letter a month to someone, somewhere and sometimes even in my own handwriting. That guarantees that at least once a month I will have to go out into the real world and post a letter, and keep the Pony Express Spirit alive. Revenue will still be going to the federal government and the paper and pen companies. I will be able to test my handwriting to see if I can still do it.

It also guarantees that at least once a month I will once again get plugged into my past and keep it in my present, and who knows? Maybe one by one those reply letters I receive will say - "Oh, by the way - we just got high speed internet, and here's my email addy -- it's so much easier and faster to keep in touch, isn't it?" And I can cross them off the snailmail list, and give them into Mr. Email's loving care.

There is quite a difference between malicious lies and mischievous fibs; one is told to hurt people and the other to entertain them. Stretching of the truth doesn't actually make a fact untruthful, - just stretched a bit!

The gift of the blarney is a good, precious gift. It's the calling of the story-tellers, and it's wonderful. Not everyone has been given the gift to weave a simple, humorous story into a tale so funny, we are holding our sides from laughter, and wiping away tears. Belly laughs these days are hard come by. So when we have someone like J D Fortune around to spread a little blarney (and Fortune is an Irish name), he is as welcome as a breath of fresh air, a ray of sunshine, a spring flower.

When JD tells a little story, it is usually at his own expense – which tells you even more about the man. He’s not afraid to poke a little fun at himself, to ease people over the obvious hard times in his past, where he doesn’t want to linger.

The Binxs have been known for their camaraderie and good humor amongst themselves. So what a delight it must be for them to have this playful, fast-talking smoothie in their midst! What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall to hear some of the comments that fly around in the tour bus, on the plane, wherever they’re together. They have said that from day one JD has kept them in stitches. And, of course, they are obviously delighted!

Whenever I hear people pontificate about how “JD lies!” I don’t know whether to laugh at them or give them a lecture on the art of humor, which they so obviously lack. What joys of laughter they are missing! The humor JD expresses has the intent of drawing people closer to him; he’s inviting us into his inner circle, as any good story-teller will do – and I’m all for that! The trouble is that when anyone can have a blog, or join a fan club where they can make any statement or judgment they please, that person can inflict damage on another person’s character, with impunity.

We need to look at people like that through JD’s eyes – and laugh!!!